Wednesday, January 21, 2009

GROUPER




Coined for Mrs. Malaprop, a character in the play The Rivals by Sheridan (ca.1775). A malapropism is an accidentally inappropriate (usually that means 'humorous') choice, omission, or alteration of words. The best known practicioner is perhaps Yogi Berra, who elevated the practice to a high art, and is well represented here.

1.Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. - Yogi Berra
2. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. - from Student Bloopers
4. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of that name. - from Student Bloopers
5. Although the patient had never been fatally ill before, he woke up dead.
6. The amount of education you have determines your loot in life.
7. An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on.
8. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head. - from Student Bloopers
9. Anteaters are generally found at picnics.
10. Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes.
11. Arabs wear turbines on their heads.
12. Are you any relation to your brother Marv? - Leon Wood, New Jersey Nets guard, to Steve Albert
13. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their hair. - from Student Bloopers
14.At least half their customers who fly to New York come by plane.
from:www.the otherpages.org

ALICIA KEYS